Last night was our weekly Lifegroup meeting. As we were sitting around catching up with one another's week, one of the guys in our group shared an experience he'd had earlier this week. It is one of those stories of a situation that happens far too often yet never stops overwhelming you as you hear it. This is the point where I tell you that what follows could be very difficult to read. If you are a niece or nephew - stop now. I have to apologize, too - I wrote a few posts earlier where I forgot to put that in there. I really can't stand how "out of it" I seem to be now-a-days...
He was on his way to work, driving on the freeway when he sees a woman walking on the shoulder. There was no car "flashing distress" before he saw her so he thought that was odd. Add to that the fact that she was walking on an extremely hazardous area of the highway (she was where two freeways meet - it's a busy, dark, hectic area of the road) and it was about 4:15 AM when he saw her really had him wondering what was going on. As he drove past, he could see her hands were full. It turned out the bundle she was carrying was a few changes of clothes for herself and her 1 1/2 year old daughter, who was sleeping as her mother walked up the freeway.
Have you ever been in a situation where God asks you "Will you" and all you can respond is "Yes."? That's where my friend found himself. He didn't want to, mind you. He was opening himself up to only God knew what, literally. To stop where she was walking was life-threatening, to say the least. However - he saw no other answer. He couldn't leave her walking, carrying that little girl, up the freeway.
When he pulled over and started talking to her, he found out she was going to her cousin's house in a town about 15 miles away. She was going to walk there. Carrying her daughter and their clothes. He didn't know why she was going that at the time but he couldn't let her walk that far so he offered her a ride. It meant he was going to be late for work. ::shrug:: He was late for work.
When he pulled over and started talking to her, he found out she was going to her cousin's house in a town about 15 miles away. She was going to walk there. Carrying her daughter and their clothes. He didn't know why she was going that at the time but he couldn't let her walk that far so he offered her a ride. It meant he was going to be late for work. ::shrug:: He was late for work.
She climbed into his car, got settled and they were on their way. He offered to turn down the radio - she told him to leave it up. Not five minutes into the drive and she broke down in tears. She started talking - you know the talk "I don't know what I'm going to do..." and then she started to tell him why she was on the freeway that morning, carrying her little one.
She wasn't "going" to her cousin's house, she was escaping to her cousin's house. Her husband had some friends over that previous night. They had a party. Cocaine and meth were involved. Once they had a sufficient high going, her husband and her friends "took turns" with her while her daughter slept near-by.
Cocaine and meth. Her husband allowed his friends to take turns with his wife while his daughter slept near-by... Can you hear the "Why?"
As they rode, she was, of course, broken by what had just happened to her. And confused. Her husband, after all, is a good man...
Cocaine and meth. Her husband allowed his friends to take turns with his wife while his daughter slept near-by... Can you hear the "Why?"
As they rode, she was, of course, broken by what had just happened to her. And confused. Her husband, after all, is a good man...
This is the part of the story for which I am so thankful to God that He chose my friend to meet her. He stopped her at the "good man" part with an "Excuse me? No. No... At one time - maybe. But to let his friends...? No. He's not a good man right now."
If it wouldn't have been really weird, I probably would have kissed him for that...
If it wouldn't have been really weird, I probably would have kissed him for that...
The next line of conversation was when one of the other folks in my group said "Why do women stay with men like that? Why don't they just leave?" There's that pesky "why" again. There are so many answers to that question but I just said it's not really about why she stayed with a man like that, is it? It's really about why is he a man like that? Why doesn't he get the help he needs? This is, after all, his wife and daughter - their lives, his life...
She needs the obvious - a place to live, supportive family and friends, services, counseling, a job..." And the not so obvious - patience (years worth), a bottomless well of compassion (because someone somewhere will figure she should "move on" when the pain hasn't yet stopped). What does he need... Time in jail? Counseling? A good beating by her family? The death penalty? For so long, I think, we've reacted with "Who cares what he needs" because he's not the one being hurt. Truthfully? I've been one of them. For the longest time I thought - castrate the SOB's (pardon the allusion to crass language). They don't deserve a life. At all. I wished all of them dead, actually.
However...as I've grown and learned more about these issues (and I have only just scratched the surface - I am not speaking as any kind of expert here), I've realized that it's not just about reacting after things have happened. I have no idea what the answer is and I know this kind of thing will never stop. Until Christ returns, we are stuck with evil in all of its many forms -especially those we consider markedly vile.
So - does the "Why" really matter? We live in a world marked by anger, pain, sin, death... Evil. It's not going away until Christ returns so why do we struggle with why? Why is it next to impossible to lay it at the foot of the cross and know He has it handled?
I know we have to keep helping. We have to keep fighting the evil in our midst. We have to continue loving people, reaching our hands out to those who are hurting and when God says "Will you" we have to say "yes" - no matter how scary that looks to us. We need to continue teaching our children right from wrong and we need to stop allowing so much "gray" in their lives. There is right and there is wrong and people know it in their core but if it's ignored long enough, the lines become blurred and what is wrong becomes tolerable. What is tolerable becomes enjoyable. What is enjoyable becomes indispensable...
She needs the obvious - a place to live, supportive family and friends, services, counseling, a job..." And the not so obvious - patience (years worth), a bottomless well of compassion (because someone somewhere will figure she should "move on" when the pain hasn't yet stopped). What does he need... Time in jail? Counseling? A good beating by her family? The death penalty? For so long, I think, we've reacted with "Who cares what he needs" because he's not the one being hurt. Truthfully? I've been one of them. For the longest time I thought - castrate the SOB's (pardon the allusion to crass language). They don't deserve a life. At all. I wished all of them dead, actually.
However...as I've grown and learned more about these issues (and I have only just scratched the surface - I am not speaking as any kind of expert here), I've realized that it's not just about reacting after things have happened. I have no idea what the answer is and I know this kind of thing will never stop. Until Christ returns, we are stuck with evil in all of its many forms -especially those we consider markedly vile.
So - does the "Why" really matter? We live in a world marked by anger, pain, sin, death... Evil. It's not going away until Christ returns so why do we struggle with why? Why is it next to impossible to lay it at the foot of the cross and know He has it handled?
I know we have to keep helping. We have to keep fighting the evil in our midst. We have to continue loving people, reaching our hands out to those who are hurting and when God says "Will you" we have to say "yes" - no matter how scary that looks to us. We need to continue teaching our children right from wrong and we need to stop allowing so much "gray" in their lives. There is right and there is wrong and people know it in their core but if it's ignored long enough, the lines become blurred and what is wrong becomes tolerable. What is tolerable becomes enjoyable. What is enjoyable becomes indispensable...
Jesus said "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13-14)
Why does "Why" matter?
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