Iris at Grace Alone is hosting Thankful Thursdays through the month of November. It's nice to be back at Iris' place. It's been a LONG time since I linked up there.
For this week's Thankful Thursday, Iris chose Trials as our topic. Funny how that works... October was probably the toughest month I've experienced in a very, very long time. On October 1st, we learned that my mother more than likely has ovarian cancer. On October 7th we learned that she definitely does have ovarian cancer and on October 19th we learned the best news of it all - it is Stage 1 and "if we can cure anyone, we can cure her" is her doctor's favorite quote.
In the midst of that, on October 12th, my husband called to tell me one of our co-workers woke up that Monday morning unable to move beyond wiggling his fingers and toes. What has transpired since has been a bit of a nail-biter. What was originally thought to be contracted muscles in his back that had spasmed and were unable to relax turned into "several" epidural abscesses. It's meant 3 weeks in the hospital and now another month at home with someone coming into his home every couple of days to drain the infection out of his back (his family was able to arrange that so he was able to come home yesterday), more antibiotics than a person can count and a very vibrant, energetic man needing a walker to move around. He's lost 15 lbs. from this and for someone who was already stick thin, 15 lbs. might as well be 50. He's gaunt, has no strength and is still fighting an infection that could roar back and do... well... it's powerful.
These are not my trials (Except, perhaps, the emotional part of learning my mother has cancer. My mother - the woman who has been a part of my life every single day of it. We are not only family but have worked together for the last 15 years. I see her at least 5 days a week. She's not just my mother - she's imperative to my daily life.) but instead belong to others. I am there strictly as support. And as the occasional taxi driver.
The truth is - from day one. October 1st. I have said the same thing over and over and over again - God was not surprised by any of this. This news did not knock Him off of His throne, it did not throw His plan into a tizzy of "what do I do now?" He IS Sovereign. He IS in control. He has NOT changed a bit. He DOES care about the outcome of this. He DOES care about us and how we feel in all of it.
The best part was when I realized these were not just words I was saying. I didn't just believe it. I KNOW it. To my very marrow, I KNOW God is Sovereign and is in control. I know we didn't surprise Him with our fear, our concern, our tears. Even when the news looked its darkest because we had to wait to know more, He was RIGHT THERE. Right there. By our side. In our hearts. Surrounding us. We could not look to the left, to the right, to the front, to the back, above or below without seeing Him. Knowing He was there - running that situation while still running the rest of the world. Power beyond all imagination, summed up by love beyond comprehension.
I AM is. Always was. Always will be.
How can I not be thankful?