Balance Somewhere

I've been reading a blog recently. It's a beautiful blog because it is full of hope. There is, however, immense sadness in this blog as well. The woman who writes it and her family recently lost their daughter/sister who lived just over 2 hours after birth. This same woman is friends with a woman who, along with her family, lost her son/brother about 1 1/2 hours after his birth and then on May 27th, this woman's sister-in-law and her family lost their 2 month old son/brother to SIDS.

The thing is - you can't help but cry when you read this woman's words. I don't cry much but this is tears pouring down my face crying. You wish you had arms big enough and strong enough to hug them all until their pain just went away - or you absorbed it - because it doesn't seem right that one family should have to deal with so much in such a short period of time. On top of that, you sit there amazed because it could just as easily be your daughter, son, nephew, niece, brother, sister and it could be your pain and you wonder if you would be as hopeful, grateful and comforted as this family is.

Their faith in the One who created this world is astounding. They know that He allowed all of this to happen and they don't begin to try to answer the biggest question of "Why?" Of course, the constant question of "Why does God allow these things when He could just stop them?" always comes up but they know there are reasons beyond their knowing, plans beyond their thinking and love beyond their feeling that has all of it balanced and under control. They don't have to know all of the answers, even though they would, of course, like to - they just have to have faith. And they do. They still cry out to God, they are still angry, hurt, anguished beyond comprehension but the comfort from their faith encompasses them in the way that people only wish we could - the hug that relieves the pain just a bit, gives them hope enough to put one foot in front of the other for one more day comes from El Shaddai, Mighty God.

In the midst of it all, they lean on Him - over and over they turn to His Word, His love... Him. They know they can't do it, they know that if they allowed themselves to turn from Him, they would be swallowed up in a blackness so deep they may never see light again.

There isn't too much to add to this. I wonder if I would be as gracious to God if it were my children. I think so and I hope so. My life is what it is because I have put my faith in God, turned my life over to Him. It's not perfect, that's for sure (I still have plenty of mean, petty thoughts and say & do mean & petty things) but I was such a miserable, lost, mean person before I realized there is One who loves me perfectly and started living for Him instead of for me. He isn't surprised by the depth of this sadness at the loss of these children. He gave His own for all of us and He did it so we could be right with Him. And He allows us to come into His presence even though we had so much to do with His Son's death... That never ceases to amaze me, either - the depth of His forgiveness and love.

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